You go quiet not because you don’t care, but because you were never taught how to stay visible and emotionally safe at the same time. So your nervous system learned to disappear. That’s what cycle breakers are undoing. Not by forcing themselves to speak louder but by learning how to stay present, regulated, and connected when emotions rise. You’re not shutting down. You’re protecting parts of you that never felt safe to be seen. And now you’re learning a different way one that lets you pause, na
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I didn’t wake up calm. I learned it. Not from role models. Not from a regulated home. Not because it came naturally. I learned it because chaos raised me and motherhood made it impossible to ignore. Most people think calm is a personality trait. Something you either have or you don’t. So they compliment it without seeing the cost. What they don’t see: the pauses that took practice the triggers I had to name instead of act out the repairs I chose over pretending the work it took to not pass down
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Here’s what most people don’t understand about breaking cycles: You weren’t taught how to grow you were taught how to survive. So of course doing more feels scary. Your nervous system learned that staying small kept you safe. Now you’re parenting your kids and the little version of you that never got the pause, the protection, or the repair. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you aware. Most women don’t question this part. They stay in autopilot and call it “normal.” You noticed. And that’s wh
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